Twisted Mistakes...
- If a doctor makes a mistake, It's an operation..
- If a barber makes a mistake, It's a new style...
- If a driver makes a mistake, It is an accident..
- If parents makes a mistake, It is a new generation...
- If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a new fashion...
- If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a new venture...
- If a politician makes a mistake, It is a new law...
- If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a new invention...
- If a teacher makes a mistake , It is a new theory...
- If a student makes a mistake, It is a MISTAKE.
Computer terms defined for woman....
WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.
CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.
E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............
Teacher v/s Student Jokes.
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
STUDENT: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
STUDENT: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
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CINDY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
CINDY: Your name on this report card.
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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Pupil : A teacher.
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TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
Definitions of KISS.
Various definitions from professors of different department of study:
Prof. of Geometry: a "KISS" is the shortest distance between two lips.
Prof. of Chemistry: a "KISS" is the reaction of an interaction between two hearts.
Prof. of Physics: a "KISS" is the contraction of two mouths, due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Zoology: a "KISS" is the interchange of friendly salivary bacteria.
Prof. of English: a "KISS" is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.
Prof. of Architecture: a "KISS" is a process which builds a solid bond between two dynamic objects.
Prof. of Accounting: a "KISS" is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. of Economics: a "KISS" is that thing for which the demand is always higher than the supply.
Prof. of Philosophy: a "KISS" is persecution for the child, ecstasy for youth, and homage for the old.
Prof. of Statistics: a "KISS" is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of two minds and hearts.
Any Definitions if you people have than write it....Which one did you liked.
Answers to the questions from last post....
1. Coffin.
2. Incorrectly.
3. Temperature.
4. Mt Everest.
5. Electric train does not give out smoke.
Answer it!!!! Silly Questions...
1. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and the user doesn't even see it. What is it?
2. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?
3. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?
4. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
5. If an electric is going westbound and the wind blowing northbound, in what direction will the smoke from the train travel?
Amazing Reflexes....What u say!!!!
Study of Womens Age.
Womens Age Defined:
- Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.She is half discovered, half wild.
- Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America. Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.
- Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan. Very hot, wise and beautiful.
- Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France. She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.
- Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany. She lost the war but not the hope.
- Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia. Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.
- Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England. With a glorious past but no future.
- After 70, they become Siberia. "Everyone knows where is it, but no one want to go there."
Coca Cola contains Acid-Follow some steps to prove it...
Below are some of the ways by which one can prove that coca cola contains acid or not:
- The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
- To remove rust spots from car bumpers,rub the bumper with a crumpled-up Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca Cola.
- Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and keep it as it is for one hour and flush it,it will clean your toilet.
- To clean corroded car battery terminals,pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to clean up the corrosion.
- To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
- Coca cola will help to clean the grease strains.Just add the coal into the water and detergent and see how the stains go away.